Musing on The 3 Weeks
For 3 weeks a summer, Jews are instructed to reduce joy in their lives. What I realized though, is that unless I couped myself in my room with nothing to do, I will always have joy in my life; I love talking to people, and going on walks, or visiting museums, or going to services etc. etc.. Even though I tried to adapt this to modern living by avoiding things they wouldn’t have had 2,000 years ago, rather than reduce the amount of joy in my life overall, I found consciously trying to reduce this made me realize that joy always find a way back in. I definitely wasn't perfect, like eating candy or going to a movie (a tragedy, tbf). In my life I have been very lucky, but by trying to fight happiness, I focused on it so much that I found it to be a pervasive pest: the best I could ask for.
I love my life. I couldn’t have always said that. But if I’ve learned anything now, or in the last few years, it’s that so long as you believe the world is fundamentally a good place, you will find its goodness. I am ultimately grateful that G-d has given me such a full life in such a short time, but much of that is what you make of it. Sometimes a simple conversation can be just as fulfilling spiritually as a week of traveling, I've found.
In this time I have not wantonly listened to music (except to go to a concert of Holocaust music), and tried to cut down on my intake of comedy etc.. Sure, I missed concerts, and other opportunities I won’t have again; especially as I’m in Austria this felt at first like a waste, but instead I found joy and excitement from within, and still got to see some great architecture and history. And while today on Tisha B'Av I went to the Holocaust memorial and watch movies concerning atrocities towards the Jews (at some points retching [sic] with tears), it is important to have those moments for perspective.
May everyone be so lucky to consider joy a pest, and I wish you all a meaningful time ahead, as we finish these 3 weeks of mourning.
Here's a playlist of some of the songs that kept being stuck in my head while avoiding music, and a few extra
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